Jet Lag

Hey...

I'm in a taxi, landed about an hour ago

But only just got a signal. 

The city seems strange,

But I feel I don't know

What time it is,

Or what day it is. 

Fuck. 

I just want to get to the hotel. 

Eight hours...

Is it eight, 

Or nine?...

Feels like a lifetime without speaking to you. 

Especially how we left things. 

I hate how you couldn't...

Wouldn't...

Look me in the eye

Before I left.

I wanted to talk,

I wanted to tell you

Everything.

I wanted to explain.

I ruined everything

Instead.

My taxi was waiting,

My flight was waiting.

I got drunk on the plane.

The first half of the flight,

Then slept. 

You know me,

If in doubt,

Drink. 

I had no means to reach you 

Mid-Atlantic. 

I had no way of

Apologising.

I wasn't even sure if,

Or for what

I should be apologising.

This fucking traffic...

I'm sure this taxi has moved

Just half a mile

In the last ten minutes. 

I need a drink.

And a shower.

Wash this jet-lag stink

Down the drain. 

Down my throat. 

I was angry at what you said. 

I was angry at what I said,

But mostly,

I was angry at what

I'd never said in the past,

And let it all erupt.

You know me.

If in doubt,

Say nothing.

Usually. 

I ache,

To be back

In your arms,

And to hear you

Sigh.

To be back

Behind the camera,

And watch you...

To be back

In your life,

And hear you

Laugh. 

And to see how

You used to look at me,

And forget

Everyone, 

And everything.

Or was that you

Just looking at the camera?

I'll never know. 

But I was upset

With what you had said.

Maybe it was in jest,

Maybe you were teasing me,

As usual. 

I should have stopped you,

Much earlier.

But I never wanted

To stop you.

I don't know what time it is there.

I've lost track of time,

Day.

Is it even still this year?

Forgive me. 

Better still,

Love me.